How to Kick A Man's Ass and Get Away With It!

How to Kick a Man's Ass and Get Away With It!


Some of you may have heard about Evangelist Juanita Bynum-Weeks getting a beat down in hotel parking lot by her husband fellow evangelist Bishop Thomas Weeks. Prophetess Bynum sustained multiple injuries and has subsequently filed for divorce from Bishop Weeks who made public apologies to his wife and to the Christians. If you think I'm going to make a commonly denominated "Christian Crack" - you're dead wrong. That would be an insult to my own intelligence because being Christian had nothing to do with it. It was a man beating his wife. Bishop Weeks - I'm a Christian and I don't accept your apology. You want me to feel better? Fling one of them 8 carat diamond rings you gave to your wife on your wedding day my way instead, because your word doesn't mean shit.


I want to thank Juanita Bynum today via this blog. She has decided to put her celebrity status to good use and launch a new ministry to help other women who have been physically attacked by "the men who were supposed to love them." That's right, if you were a woman that was beaten by a man that didn't love you - you're assed out. So Gigi is here for YOU!


[Disclaimer: I'm about to get real here. It seems that whenever I write a blog and get truthful in it - I get messages from people who feel the need to call me "whore", "bitch" and all kinds of colorful words that don't always get picked up by spell check. If you want to leave me a nasty message - have the intestinal fortitude to leave the message in the comment section below. DUH!]


The first time my husband hit me - he was drunk. He started in on me and I ignored him. Pretended he didn't exist. So he kept on and on and when he didn't get a response - he called me a "cunt." I hate that word. I called him a "fag." If you know me - I can get real creative when it comes to spewing the insults. He got real mad and slapped me in my mouth. The last time I checked - I wasn't Muslim. Even if there was a need to correct me - that was not the fucking way to do it. As a former playground bully, the niece of Arab men, the daughter of a Navy Man and the FIRST girl in a family of boys - I hit him back and kept on hitting him back. It was the first time in my adult life I had to fuck a man up. I always remembered the time I witnessed a family member get beat by her husband; I was a teen at the time and ran to rescue her. I vowed to NEVER allow that to happen to me or anybody else if I can help it. Whether the man loves the woman or not. I was with my baby father for years and we never physically fought. Wrestled maybe - but that was for another reason . . . hehe. That should have been a sign for me - and was - but I didn't listen to myself. I listened to others and got married anyway. To make a long story short - I walked away from that marriage with a permanent bump on my nose from the break, a head scalded from boiling water, misaligned bones in my fingers -not to mention slightly traumatized children (they're okay now). Every time we fought - he was drunk. I learned that with each time, the fights got more intense - because he knew he was fighting with someone who was not going to take the shit. I'm also a woman. Not too many egos like getting beat up by a woman. His prior girlfriend (and the proverbial dog vomit - as they are living together now) would take the slaps and cry (usually on some other dude's shoulder later on, but hey . . . To each his own, right?) The last time we fought - the cops actually debated on who to take in. They didn't take me in because they knew I worked legal and their asses would have been in every court room I could file a case against them in. WTF?!


We have laws now -thanks to O.J. - that are supposed to be less lenient to abusers and more helpful to women. However - I believe the majority of them are bullshit and blatant violations of constitutional rights therefore making it in the long run the women suffer a hell of a lot more being dragged through the bureaucratic mud of our legal system. Not every woman is a celebrity with a major bank roll to protect them like Prophetess Bynum. Are we really supposed to care that she's filing for divorce and he apologized? She will not have to go through what most abused women have to go through. She says that she still loves the good Bishop - enough to marry twice. Keep your soap opera Bynum and Weeks - you're a bunch of publicity whoring bamas. Ladies - you want to keep your sanity and out of jail? Remember, Johnny Cochran is dead so you have got to fuck that man up! I won't advocate being a sucker and just cut the man's dick off - you will go to jail. Jab him in the throat as hard as you can instead. Sometimes it's impossible to do immediately after - so wait a few days after everything has cooled down. My friend, Brent, teaches a class on women's self defense which is very helpful and every community should have one - but here are a few tips just in case, you are not able to make such a class:


Hit him in the spine while holding a sock full of quarters, then go get a manicure right after;


This one was inspired by Madame Jules - lop him over the head with frozen meat (she suggested leg of lamb) - then cook the weapon and serve it for dinner;


Take the palm of your hand with your top fingers curled downward - slam it straight into his nose. Debilitate him for a few seconds then run for the shovel.


Personally, I'm a boxer and kicker. I will ball up my fist and knock the wind out of someone by punching him dead in the chest. I usually hit fast in repetition. I don't like receiving hits, so I try to prevent them. I don't knee in the balls - sometimes the coordination goes awry in the middle of battle and the knee can land against another knee cap (I'm short). Please note: I may come off aggressive almost as much as Juanita Bynum, but I'm really not. I only fought with one man in my life. The guys back in school don't count . . .


DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS STILL A MAJOR ISSUE - NO ONE IS IMMUNED anymore. OJ sparked new laws and statutes to be instituted in society - do they work? Is it easier and less traumatizing to take the chance and whip a man's ass - who assaulted you - instead of calling the cops? I once told a friend who called me right after her baby father hit her to get out of the house and that I was on my way to pick her. As I loaded my .357 Magnum, I yelled back into the phone, "Whatever you do, DON'T CALL THE POLICE!" Self-defense is a lot harder to prove, in case you didn't know.


Here are a few highlights from Saturday's reading and signing at the Caribbean Literary & Cultural Center in Brooklyn, New York:




The New Leccie Cover arrived in time for the Signing! I would have been happier if Leccie had made it over the pond for the event, but there will be more opportunities later on as the book tour gets underway. Copies of I Didn't Sign Up For This! are now available at

www.barnesandnoble.com

and

www.amazon.com







Me signing. The twins kept getting in the way on the hot muggy frizz pit day.





Mary Sumter with Ken Cook. Mary won the dinner for two at Harbour Lights restaurant. This is great - Mary came all the way from Washington D.C. for the signing and met Ken Cook at the signing. Mr. Cook is a former science teacher from Winthrop Junior High (he wasn't my teacher, but he taught many of my friends). The Widow and the Widower hit it off and ended up each other's dates for the evening! Harbour Lights has got something going on besides the wonderful food (and the BEST crème brulee!) I hear those two have really hit it off ! I am SOOOOO excited for them! Thank you Harbour Lights!!


Thank you all that came out and showed support and love. I hope you enjoy the book!